I’ll be posting an extended piece about breastfeeding in the next few days, but until then, this should give you an indication of how the whole breastfeeding thing went for me in the first few months.
Things you can do with your nipples that are slightly less painful than breastfeeding:
- Dipping them in battery acid
- Tattooing them in a prison cell
- Sandpapering them (and not with normal paper, think more one of those Black & Decker orbital jobs)
- Leaning over the hob so that they catch fire à la Mrs. Doubtfire
- Signing them up as paid members of UKIP