Five signs you’re well and truly in the ‘Mum Zone’

On a few occasions recently, I’ve I caught myself saying something that I know I absolutely would never have said in the time BC (before child). Beware, the ‘Mum Zone’!

The Mum Zone is hygge-friendly. Residents of the Mum Zone find themselves sharing empty motivational phrases on Facebook that their previous selves would have scoffed-at. The Mum Zone feels safe and wholesome, like listening to The Archers whilst enjoying a bowl of fresh soup.

It sneaks up on you so gradually that you don’t know you’re in it until it’s too late. And when you do finally realise, the scariest thing is that you don’t even mind that you’re there. Here are  five signs that you are well and truly in The Mum Zone.

  1. When you’re asked if you’d like to have a Sparks Card at the M&S tills, your answer has changed from ‘I don’t shop here enough to merit it really’ to ‘yours are the only bras that fit me now, plus I like the fact I still fit into a 14 here, so yes, I will take that card’.
  2. Before you realise how douchy what you’re about to say is, when you open the kitchen cupboard you immediately exclaim, ‘we are running perilously low of balsamic vinegar!’.
  3. The only thing that now fits you in Topshop are the earrings. And you just don’t ‘get’ the slogans on the t-shirts they sell there anymore.
  4. For the first time in your life, you find yourself worrying whether you’ve got the correct ‘weather to tog ratio’ duvet on the bed.
  5. The closest thing you get to having a ‘Brazilian’ is a strong cup of coffee each morning

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *