As I approach the final few months of pregnancy, here are some second trimester observations:
- Pregnancy has some really glamorous side effects: I remember the repulsed look on my friend’s face when out of nowhere, as I was chatting away, my gums started bleeding and my mouth filled up with blood. She politely told me and as I coughed and spluttered into a tissue, I’m pretty sure people around us thought I had late-stage TB, or at the very least, raging gingivitis.
2. As the baby gets heavier on my bladder and I find myself suffering with yet another cold this winter, I’m finding I ‘sneeze-wee’ through at least two pairs of knickers a day. TMI UTI!
3. I’m learning all about the baby’s personality already. For example, want to know what its favourite past-time is? Punching me repeatedly in the opening of my cervix. This baby won’t wait for contractions; it’s gonna punch its way through when it’s ready. Is it too soon for gas and air???
4. Every day I get a shock when I look in the mirror after getting out of the shower and wrapping a towel around me: I’m greeted by the sight of my vagina peeping out at me. As my stomach expands, my normal shower towel can no longer wrap fully around my lower half, creating a grotesque window to my genitalia.
5. Climbing the stairs is a full-scale mission from which I need at least 10 minutes to recover. By the time I reach the upstairs landing, my speech is laboured through heavy breathing. I sound like Malcolm in the Middle’s best friend Stevie who paused to breathe between every word (and to be fair to that kid, he was missing a lung).